The Harder We Try, the Farther We Fall
by Malevolent Murder
Summary: In a time of war and betrayal, all Vanessa Stiles can depend on is her friends. Times are changing rapidly, and every day proves the world to be more dangerous. The time is swiftly approaching for her to choose a side: her friends or the Dark Lord.
1. A Bet's a Bet

A young blonde girl walked nervously beside her mother, biting down on her lower lip as she absent-mindedly stroked the beak of the caged owl in her trolley. Her eyes were wide, absorbing everything she could of the train station—she had never been to one before. Usually when they traveled, her mother used side-by-side Apparition or floo powder. Naturally, Vanessa preferred the powder.

"Go on, you go first, Nessa," Tanya Stiles encouraged her daughter, indicating to the barrier a few yards before them. "You'll go straight through, I promise." Vanessa looked up at her mother's smiling face, nodded, and glanced back at the brick structure. She could hardly believe that she could walk straight through brick.

She shut her eyes tightly, taking in what she expected to be her last breath, and charged at the wall. She waited for the impact, but when nothing happened she skidded to a halt and looked up in nothing less than awe. A sign hung above her head reading 'Platform 9 ¾' and she grinned, turning to witness her mother follow with the trolley.

Witches and wizards of all ages were hurrying along, and Vanessa could not suppress her wide grin. She had never seen so many non-Muggles in once place; her mother preferred to live in the company of Muggles. She was set on avoiding the rising conflict that the other purebloods were starting with the Muggle-borns.

Looking around, Vanessa noticed quite a few people that she recognized. The Blacks were a few yards away, hurrying to get all of the children onto the train. Bellatrix was tormenting young Regulus, who was whining about wanting to go to school as well; Narcissa had ventured off a ways, and was speaking with a tall blonde boy; Sirius, who was apparently trying to prove how rebellious he could be, had stormed away somewhere else. He was no longer in sight.

"Nessa, be good, don't get into trouble and _take care of that bird_!" Vanessa looked at her mother, attempting an expression of innocence, and flushed. She had never had much luck with animals in the past; the longest she had ever kept a pet was about a month before it ran away or died.

She embraced her mother quickly and turned back to the train, hurrying to board. Within mere moments the crowd of other students consumed her, and she disappeared from Tanya's view.

**XXXX**

Sighing, Vanessa slid into a compartment and pressed her back against the door. Relief to be out of the discord outside the small cubicle washed over her, and she glanced around; two boys were there already, but they didn't seem to notice her. She slid past them, plopping down into one of the empty seats.

It was silent; Vanessa was unaware of how long she had been sitting there before the door opened and two others stumbled in—a redheaded girl and a slim, dark-haired boy. The girl sat opposite of Vanessa, and smiled slightly while the boy sat in the empty space between her and one of the other boys.

"I hope we get put in Slytherin," the dark-haired boy commented to the redhead; she didn't seem to care.

"Slytherin?" a brown-haired boy asked, staring at him incredulously. "Who'd want to be put in _Slytherin_? I'd leave, wouldn't you?" He was regarding the second boy, who had yet to speak, and then seemed to glance at Vanessa.

"My father was in Slytherin," she said stiffly, knowing that it wasn't necessarily a positive thing. Her father had walked out on she and her mother when Vanessa was only five, due to the temptation of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Tanya, who had looked down upon that sort of perspective, certainly wasn't disappointed to see him go.

"My whole family has been in Slytherin," commented the other boy. When he looked up, giving Vanessa a better view of his face, she noticed him instantly as Sirius Black. He glanced at her, but seemed not to care enough to say anything.

"Blimey!" the brown-haired boy exclaimed, gawking at Sirius. "And I thought you seemed all right!" This only earned him a grin.

"Maybe I won't be," Sirius shrugged. "What about you, Stiles?" Vanessa was somewhat shocked that he had bothered to acknowledge her. "Gonna follow in your dad's footsteps?" He was taunting her.

"Never," Vanessa replied darkly, glowering. "I'm hoping for Ravenclaw, like my mum. I wouldn't complain about Gryffindor, though. I don't really think the House matters much." She shrugged, leaning back against the seat and crossing her arms.

"I bet you get put in Slytherin anyways," Sirius sneered, and Vanessa snapped, "I bet I won't!"

She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth; Sirius smirked and wagered three galleons that she was in Slytherin. Sighing, Vanessa agreed.

"Gryffindor is all right…" the dark-haired boy piped up, his tone cool. "If you want to be all brawn and no brain."

"So where are you going, seeing as how you're neither?" Sirius retorted, and laughed.

This was apparently enough for the redhead, who stood and stormed off. "Come on, Severus, lets go find a different compartment." He followed after her, somewhat like a lost puppy; Sirius and the other boy made mocking sounds after them, and one called, "See ya, Snivellus!"

Vanessa rolled her eyes and stood as well. She paused once in the doorway and said, "You're just like Bellatrix, Sirius." She closed the door behind her and ventured away to change into her school robes.

**XXXX**

The crowd of students was large. Vanessa was shoved around numerous times, and the ruckus only stopped once the group of First Years made their way into the castle. An older woman stood at the top of a small flight of stairs, her gaze piercing.

"Once you enter the Great Hall, before you will be able to join the other students for the feast, you must be Sorted. The Houses are: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. While here, your House is your family. Good behavior will earn you points, while misbehaving will cause you to loose points. At the end of the year the points will be counted, and the House with the most will be awarded the House Cup."

A low murmur of interest broke the students' silence, and they were being led into the Great Hall within a matter of minutes. Many of the students were enthralled with the ceiling, bewitched to look like the night sky, while others were more interested with gazing at the front of the room. A lone stood was placed before the Head Table, and an old black hat sat upon it.

When the crowd finally fell still and the shoving ended, Vanessa found herself standing beside the redheaded girl and the black-haired boy from the train. She and the girl exchanged half-smiles before directing their attention to the front.

Professor McGonagall was calling names; "Black, Sirius!" Sirius approached the hat and sat down; it was only a matter of seconds before the thing screamed, "GRYFFINDOR!" Cheers broke the quiet, and Sirius cast a sneering glance at the Slytherin table, where Bellatrix and Narcissa were glaring.

"Evans, Lily!" Gryffindor.

"Lupin, Remus!" Gryffindor.

"Pettigrew, Peter!" Gryffindor.

"Potter, James!"" Gryffindor.

"Snape, Severus!" …Slytherin.

Vanessa inhaled deeply as her name was called, stepping forward and sitting down. She remained silent, listening as the hat rambled through her qualities. Her breath caught when it prepared to blurt out her house—_anywhere but there, anywhere but there_—"SLYTHERIN!"

The table of green and silver cheered; Vanessa forced a smile onto her face, and didn't bother to search for Sirius's face among the Gryffindors. She hurried into the empty seat beside the boy, Severus, and was congratulated by Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Black, and Narcissa Black. There were others, but she only recognized the three.

The Sorting continued, only a few more students left, and then they were allowed to eat. Vanessa talked to the people around her, regardless of how she did not want to be there, and developed a certain interest in the Snape boy—he was odd, somewhat different that the others. Perhaps it was just because he was another First Year, but she made her decision then to stick with him.

As the number students in the Hall began to thin considerably, Vanessa stood with Severus to leave, but was not able to escape before a hand caught her arm and she was whirled around by a triumphant Sirius Black.

"A bet's a bet, kid—_pay up_."

Vanessa scowled and handed over her money; Sirius grinned and sauntered away to a group of three other boys who Vanessa only vaguely remembered from the Sorting.

She grimaced with sheer dislike, but hurried on to catch up with Severus, who had already started towards the common room.


	2. A Wand is Not a Toy

The two days that had passed since the Sorting seemed more like an eternity. Vanessa seemed plagued with a lack of sleep, and her appearance seemed to accommodate the part of _'Insomniac'_. Under her eyes were dark circles, and the usually vibrant blue was dull. The usual cheery spring in her step had vanished, and she sulked from class to class. It seemed improbable that the sudden change could take place in only two days.

She dressed slowly, giving a half-hearted glare to the Slytherin emblem sewn onto her robes, and pulled her hair back out of her face. She stared at herself for a moment with an expression of disgust, but shrugged dismissively and trudged out of the dormitories. In the common room, an apathetic Severus Snape, who did not bother wasting her even the slightest glance, greeted her.

"'Morning," he grumbled, and with that exited the common room; he was aware that Vanessa would follow anyways.

"'Morning, Sev," she responded, attempting to seem at least a bit cheerful. She failed dismally, but it gained her a bit of his attention. He glanced at her, eyebrows raised, and she offered a half-hearted smile. His expression was somewhat skeptical.

"You look terrible, Nessa." Upon hearing him use her preferred nickname, she grinned; two days of implying that she favored that alias had eventually paid off (or perhaps simply annoyed him to the point of surrendering).

"No? I hadn't noticed," she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Thank you for clueing me in."

"Anytime," he shot back, equally sardonic.

A fleeting smile crossed her face, but the rest of their walk to the Great Hall was silent. It was a somewhat awkward silence, in which Vanessa tried to appear somewhat preoccupied with her nails or her hair just to seem like she was doing something, and Severus looked exactly like he usually did—apathetic.

The two of them joined the other Slytherins at the table, and Vanessa tuned out as the group of students around her exchanged gossip.

The morning went on, somewhat of a bore. Classes dragged on, one at a time: Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, and Charms…

The only class left before lunch was Transfiguration, and they had it with Gryffindor, which meant that they would finally be able to see Lily. Personally, Vanessa liked Lily Evans. She was a Muggle-born; she was not clueless when it came to the Wizarding world. In fact, she had more talent than some of the _pureblood_ students.

Nessa realized the downfall to having Gryffindor with them this period the moment she walked in the door. Her eyes narrowed upon seeing the group of four boys that she had come to hate—well, two of them at least. Neither James nor Sirius looked up as she and Severus entered. Not until Lily waved them over.

"Hey, Snivellus!" Of course, Nessa was totally ignored. The two were leering at him, lips curled.

"Just ignore them, Sev," Vanessa sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder and steering him to where Lily was sitting, glaring at James and Sirius. The scowl on Potter's face was undeniably priceless; Vanessa wished she had a camera.

"Potter, you look like a constipated squirrel. What's with the face?" Vanessa asked, eyebrows raised.

James's eyes narrowed slightly; Sirius answered for him, "Can you blame him, Stiles? I mean, he's in the same room as _you_."

"Yes, but you are as well and I don't see your face contorting in ways to suggest to having just swallowed a lemon whole," Vanessa snapped.

"Yeah, well we've known each other since we were young, which means I've been exposed to you more. I'm immune." He smirked, taunting. Somewhat flustered, Vanessa's hand began to move towards her robes, where her wand was just waiting to be pulled out and used… A hand grabbed her wrist, and she whirled. Severus simply shook his head, indicating for her to 'drop it', and he pulled her away from the chortling boys.

"Just ignore them," he mocked, using Vanessa's previous statement against her.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," Vanessa grumbled; the door swung open and Professor McGonagall came striding in.

"Today we will be doing an exercise that will requite you to transfigure a goblet into a common mouse." No one seemed to be very excited about it. McGonagall recited the necessary enchantment, made them repeat it a few times to be sure that they could pronounce it properly, and set them to work.

Muttering the spell, Vanessa attempted at turning her goblet into a mouse, but her efforts were to no avail. Lily tried once, tried once more, and on the third try she was gripping a white little mouse in her hand, beaming.

"Lucky…" Vanessa grumbled, shooting Lily a playful glare. The redhead poked her tongue out, and hurried to the front to be rid herself of the mouse.

The next one to manage the task was Severus; despite her efforts, Vanessa could not transfigure the damn goblet. She ended up swearing at it, prodding it with her wand, and threatening to hex it into oblivion before Severus snatched the poor goblet away. Vanessa watched as he made a few attempts, and finally instead of a goblet he held a mouse.

Vanessa grinned, taking it and practically skipping to the front of the room. She realized at that point that most people were already finished. Only Longbottom and Pettigrew were still at it.

"How much longer before freedom?" Vanessa asked Severus, using her wand to levitate a quill into the air. Her tone was low, and her utter boredom was obvious.

"About ten minutes," he replied bleakly.

Vanessa and Lily groaned in unison.

"I'm _so_ tired…" Vanessa whined; she said 'so' as if it had ten syllables instead of just one. "This is _boring_!"

"It's almost over. You can bear at least ten more minutes, you aren't that pathetic." Severus smiled slightly, teasing.

Vanessa didn't think it was that funny, and pinched him on the arm.

**XXXXX**

When the words "Dismissed" came from McGonagall's thin mouth, Vanessa jumped up, resembling a spring that had been held down until the right moment to release it. Lily followed her, but Severus, who was not in such a hurry, took his sweet time standing and gathering his things.

Lily was laughing at the face Vanessa was making in an attempt to suppress her yawn, and Severus merely rolled his eyes at the foolishness.

The group was halfway to the Great Hall, Vanessa whining about being tired, Lily telling her to get more sleep, and Severus trying his hardest not to laugh at her distraught expression.

"Hey, Snivellus! Stiles! Evans!" Vanessa and Lily chorused a groan and Severus stiffened slightly when Sirius and James came loping up. "What's up?"

"Go bother someone else, Black," Lily snapped, her eyes locked on the oak doors that would lead to the Great Hall.

Sirius smirked, looping his arm around Vanessa's shoulders; James did the same to Severus. Lily, who stood between the two, was out of reach. Vanessa jabbed Sirius in the ribs with her elbow, and Severus struggled away from James, eyes narrowed.

"You're both so _immature_!" Lily exclaimed, glaring from Black to Potter. "Nessa, Sev, just ignore them." The warning was delivered a bit late, however; Severus had his wand drawn and pointed and James, and Vanessa looked ready to claw Sirius's eyes out.

"Bug, off, Black," Vanessa snapped.

"C'mon, Snivellus," James said, eyeing his wand warily. "We—"

"What is going on here?" All five students whirled; Professor Slughorn was walking forwards, looking somewhat astounded. "Still only First Years and already starting squabbles?" His eyes ventured to Severus, who was still glowering at James. He was lowering his wand slowly. "Severus, put that thing away. _A wand is not a toy_."

On Slughorn's order, Severus let his arm fall and he stored his wand once more in the folds of his robes.

"Ten points from Slytherin, and ten from Gryffindor," he sighed. "I'll let you lot off this time, but next time it's detention. Run along; you'll miss lunch."

Casting each other glares, the two groups separated. Lily gave a sad little smile and waved at Vanessa and Severus as she sulked back to the Gryffindor table. She made sure to sit as far away from Sirius and James as possible.


End file.
